Monday, May 5, 2025

Road to The Naked Gun (2025) - The Naked Gun (1988) Review

 


With the newest Naked Gun movie coming out in August, it's time for me to make yet another Road to series.





The Naked Gun (or as it's officially titled, The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad) is a crime action comedy and the first installment of the film series. Paramount Pictures both produced and distributed. David Zucker directed and wrote alongside Jerry Zucker, Jim Abrahams and Pat Proft.





The story is, after his partner was shot, clueless detective Frank Drebin sets out to find the culprit. His investigation soon leads him to a plot to turn innocent people into assassins. Now not only does Frank need to stop this plot but find out who's behind it.








  • Negatives

I've got nothing.








  • Mix

The only mix bag is some outdated material. First everyone breath a sigh of relief, I haven't gone woke or PC. What I mean by outdated is the movie sometimes does have some references that aren't timeless. They're very much meant for the 80's. It's not too bothersome because you can just brush them off and enjoy the rest of the movie. So this is one of those gray areas that can be forgiven.








  • Positives

The first thing I'll praise is the pacing. The runtime is an hour and twenty-five minutes and that had to be the quickest hour of my entire life. This is just a breeze to get through and the movie never looses this high energy and best of all, doesn't overstay its welcome.



The next aspect is the cast. They are phenomenal. Leslie Nielsen is perfect. He's confident even though his character is really stupid. And when rewatching this it reminded me how much sad it is he's no longer with us. Now while Nielsen is great he also had a strong supporting cast as well. Priscilla Presley and George Kennedy are great supporting characters and work perfectly with Nielsen, and Ricardo Montalbán brings the best kind of campy fun.



The last praise I'll give is the comedy. The team of David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker (often times abbreviated as ZAZ) brought a wonderful bunch of absurdity, rapid-fire jokes, gags, slapstick, and greatly spoofed the cop drama. But there's also some great dialogue as well. Like how Frank compliments about a "nice beaver".








While some might find aspects to be outdated I absolutely love The Naked Gun. I had fun from beginning to end and I'm so glad I revisited this in preparation for the newest movie.








My final rating is, A MUST WATCH!








So that's all for tonight. Now I've got two things. One, if this is possible, come back on Saturday, May 10th, for my review of the documentary, Wick is Pain. But if I can't do a review for that, then come back on Monday, May 12th, for a brand new Is It True?, where I tackle a fan theory regarding Super Smash Bros. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.

Saturday, May 3, 2025

Thunderbolts Review

 


Thunderbolts (or as it's stylized Thunderbolts*, by the way at the end the asterisk is finally explained) is a comic book movie based on the Marvel Comics' team with the same name. It serves as the 36th film in the MCU and it's produced by Marvel Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. The story is written by Joanna Calo and Eric Pearson with directing done by Jake Schreier.





The story is, Yelena, John Walker, Taskmaster, and Ghost were set up to kill each other so the manipulative CIA director Valentina Allegra de Fontaine has no loose ends. But after surviving her plot and befriending a test subject named Bob, this unlikely alliance sets out to expose her. But as their mission goes on, something is going on with Bob and it's a far bigger problem than Valentina.








Initial Reaction

Now this movie wasn't on my most anticipated list because I'm not a Thunderbolts fan. But after seeing some TV spots I decided to give the movie a chance.








Cons

I've got nothing.








Middle Ground

Let's start off with the pacing. This does take a while a to get started, mainly during the first act. Thankfully when everything is set up, acts two and three going by quickly. Then there's the credit scenes. Now the post-credit is good. It hypes you up for the next big movie, but the mid-credit scene is stupid. It's just a joke about Red Guardian (Yelena's dad) trying to convince a woman to buy cereal because he's on it along with the rest of the team. So here's how you're plan should go. Bathroom break for the mid-credit scene and go back for the post-credit. Then there's the aspect of character. Now Yelena and Bob get great character development. We really get to know what they're going through. John Walker (who by the way did nothing wrong! So MCU writers and wannabe pundits on social media, stop trying to convince us otherwise!) also gets something for his character, whether it's adding something to his backstory or giving him some entertaining moments. But others aren't given as much care. Bucky, despite being featured in a lot of marketing, is sidelined and his arc of taking down Valentina isn't given that much attention. And Ghost doesn't get much of anything. She just kinda there, okay she does do that one awesome thing to that fake Taskmaster but other than that, she's not given much. As for Valentina, she's a very one dimensional villain. Her character is kinda saved by Julia Louis-Dreyfus' charisma, but it still felt like the writers could've done more.








Pros

The first thing I'll credit is the action. Yes is very it's very good, got great sequences and choreography, but my biggest praise is the practical side. Yes we do get CGI, but a lot of this movie is more focused on stunts, some long takes, and shockingly enough practical effects! I was beginning to think Marvel Studios didn't know what those were anymore. Alright enough of me being dick. Let's move on to the other biggest strength, that being the performances from Florence Pugh and Lewis Pullman. Pugh does great with dry humor but she really shines with moments of emotional depth. With Pullman, he adds vulnerability to the movie. He was really good whenever the Bob's mental issues were tormenting him. These two shined in this. But my biggest praise goes for the depth. Now I agree with it being surface level, but you know what? I prefer that off some of the other MCU movies were it seems more comedy was the focus than telling a story. Looking at you Thor: Love & Thunder! So I enjoyed the movie took its time touching on themes of depression, loneliness, trauma, redemption and doing it with sincerity even if it's not the deepest. Because at the end of the day it was refreshing and added something grounded.









Thunderbolts isn't by any means perfect, but I came out of this liking it a lot more than I thought.








My final rating is, Good.








That's all for now. Come back on Monday, May 5th, for the first part of The Road to The Naked Gun (2025) with my review of the original 1988 film also titled The Naked Gun. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Looking Back at the Films of 2024 Part One - Sting, Abigail, The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, Boy Kills World, and The Spider

 


Alright, welcome to the newest edition. We've got a big selection of movies so let's get to it.








Why Didn't I See Sting?

Simple, I had no idea this movie existed. But when I looked up films I missed out on this one caught my eye. So I figured I give it a try. It seems like it'd be a fun creature feature.







What is Sting?

Sting is a horror movie that was produced by Screen Australia, Align, Screen NSW, Cumulus VFX, Spectrum Entertainment, See Pictures, and Pictures in Paradise and Well Go USA Entertainment distributing. It was written and directed by Kiah Roache-Turner.



The story is, a rebellious young girl named Charlotte finds a tiny little spider and names it Sting. First it just seems like a regular spider, but as Charlotte feeds it more and more, Sting slowly shows it's not an ordinary spider and starts growing at an alarming rate. And as the spider gets bigger, so does it's hunger.








My Thoughts

The Good: Let's start off with the vibe. This has a greatly fun b-movie vibe. I might like my high budget mainstream movies, but also love movies like these. Then there's the pacing. This goes by quickly and never drags. From start to finish this is a breeze to get through. I also gotta give credit for the atmosphere. It's very tense. Once that spider [Sting] starts its killing spree, you do kinda feel on edge afterwards. Then when some family members were captured, I actually felt a little bit of dread. Which I honestly wasn't expecting. The last credit goes to the spider effects. Sure the gore effects were also good, but the effects on Sting were top notch. The CGI was very good, especially for a film that's only $28 million, but those practical effects are incredible. It's always good to see movies, horror or not, value good hand made effects.




The Bad: I've got nothing.




The Okay: One mix bag is the story. It's very uneven. Sure we still get our fun giant spider story, but a lot of times it takes a backseat to the family drama story. Which wouldn't have been so bad if it was more evened out. 50% giant Spider & 50% family story. The other one is the performances. Now Alyla Browne as Charlotte is really good. She brings a lot of emotion to the role and even does a great job showing bravery. But what about the cast members? While some are good like Ryan Corr are also pretty good, the other casts are fine. They're by no means bad, they're just okay.




Final Verdict: Okay.








Why Didn't I See Abigail?

Well my theater did have showings, but sadly they were like a month later after the movie's originally release. So having a review by then would be too late because the movie wasn't new.








What is Abigail?

Abigail is a horror-comedy movie. Project X Entertainment, Vinson Films, and Radio Silence Productions did production while Universal Pictures were the distributors. Stephen Shields and Guy Busick were the writers and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett were the directors.



The story is, a group of criminals have kidnapped a young ballet dancer/daughter of a wealthy man named Abigail. They take her to a secluded manor and are told by their boss to guard the child for 24 hours and after they get paid. But they soon find out that Abigail is no ordinary girl but a vampire. Now, the group must find a way to survive.








My Thoughts

The Good: Now I'm gonna start off with the horror. To be honest I wasn't really all that scared BUT! I still had a lot of fun. So while this is more horror adjacent there's still plenty of enjoyment. There's also the dark humor. I had a lot of laughs. Especially with the dialogue. This cast had so many funny lines, like "Oh yeah. Here's your daughter, Mr. f*cking Antichrist. We're really sorry. Hope she's not too traumatized. Let's play a round of golf sometime". Then there's the special effects. Practical effects are great, the team did a wonderful. But I was surprised with the CGI blood. A lot of films just can't seem to nail CG blood, which often times makes said blood look more like jello, but with this no. It actually looked good. Which now brings me to the performances, mainly from Melissa Barrera, Alisha Weir, and Dan Stevens who play respectively Joey, Abigail, and Frank. These three were great. Whether it was on their own, together, dramatic, or comedic, these three were tremendous and killed it with each scenes they were in.




The Bad: Nothing here.




The Okay: First there's the pacing. Often time there's a lot of slow moments. So sometimes you might feel like you're watching a movie longer than it is even though it's only an hour and forty-nine minutes. Then there's our characters. Now Abigail, Joey, and Frank are all good. We get to know Abigail's motives of why she truly wants to kill these people. Then there's Joey, with her we get to know she's a mother and feels like she's screwed up so bad she thinks she can't go back to her kid. And Frank, we see just how far he's willing to go to get some sort of power. But every other character, yeah they're clearly there to fill out the bodycount.



Final Verdict: Good.









Why Didn't I See The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare?

Now I did have plans to see this, but my theater had other plans. They did show the movie but it was like a week or two after it's original release, so I figured I just save it for later for this segment.








What is The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare?

The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is an action movie that's based on Damien Lewis' 2014 book, Churchill's Secret Warriors: The Explosive True Story of the Special Forces Desperadoes of WWII. Production was done by Black Bear Pictures, Jerry Bruckheimer Films, and Toff Guy Films with Lionsgate doing distribution. Guy Ritchie directed and wrote the story along with Paul Tamasy, Eric Johnson, and Arash Amel.



The story is, it's World War II and the United Kingdom is struggling to the Nazi's takeover of Europe. In order to stop British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and a group of military officials hatch a plan to neutralize the Nazi fleets of U-boats. They assign this mission to Gus March-Phillipps and his team of mavericks to change the course of the war.








My Thoughts

The Good: First up is pacing. The movie's two hours and two minutes and it takes full advantage of its runtime. With a mix of action and humor I was fully engaged and never bored. Because of that nothing felt like it dragged. There's also the production value. The costumes were not only period appropriate but looked really great. The cinematography was stunning, but I think what I liked most were the locations. They were gorgeous. Then we have the humor. I had a lot of good laughs and with most Guy Ritchie films the comedy stems mostly from the dialogue. One bit was when Gus was giving out orders and the last thing he says is "and remember gentlemen, try to fun". Now since this is a war movie how's the action? Well I dug it. It was stylish and nicely choreographed. And a lot of it reminded me of Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds. Because they both have action that's over the top and involve killing Nazis. The last thing I'll touch on is Henry Cavill's performance. He was spectacular in this. His charm and wit carries this movie and I think he was having a lot of fun.




The Bad: Nope. Not a single thing for this part.




The Okay: The slight issue is the same thing with a previous Guy Ritchie movie, Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre, and that's this needed more Guy Ritchie. What I mean is this needed more flair and even more unhinged dark comedy. It just really needed take advantage of that R rating.




Final Verdict: Good.








What Didn't I See Boy Kills World

I didn't know this movie existed until I saw a commercial for it's DVD/Blu-Ray release. It looked fun so I figured it'd be a good idea to save a review of it for later.








What is Boy Kills World

Boy Kills World is a dystopian action comedy that was produced by Nthibah Pictures, Vertigo Entertainment, Hammerstone Studios, and Raimi Productions with Lionsgate Films and Roadside Attractions distributing. The story's written by Tyler Burton Smith and Arend Remmers and Moritz Mohr directing.



The story is, in a dystopian future a city is ruled by the Van Der Koy family and once a year they host a television event called The Culling, where they gather twelve people and kill them on live televison. Three of these people are Boy, Mina, and their mother. Sadly Mina and mom were killed but Boy is left for dead. Years later, Boy is fully grown and is on the warpath to get revenge on the Van Der Koy family.








My Thoughts

The Good: I loved the humor in this. Especially from H. Jon Benjamin as the Boy's inner voice. I swear H. Jon's voice can make almost anything sound hilarious. Then there's our main star Bill Skarsgård's performance. This guy has absolutely no dialogue in this, the most we get from him is an animalistic scream. His main way of acting is through his face and body language and he's great. Through just those two things we see Boy's rage, confusion, and wonder without one word being said. Now I move onto the designs. There's a variety of nicely crafted sets or locations. From jungles to decaying cities to a pretty colorful TV set, this visuals are great. My last praise is for the action. It's beautifully bloody. It delivers on the promise of high-octane fights. There's plenty of creative moments, like fighting cereal mascots, to a surprising moment with a cheese grater. So if you're a fan of these much more grittier, bloodier, and almost grimy action flicks like The Raid, Hardcore Henry or Guns Akimbo, then this movie's got you covered.




The Bad: Nothing negative here.




The Okay: The only thing I got is the tone. For the first two acts it's very over the top, very zany, and very much a dark action comedy. But when it came to the third act things all of a sudden are much more serious and dramatic. I didn't bother me too much, but it did take time to settle in because I was so use to the more over the top stuff.




Final Verdict: Good.









Why Didn't I See The Spider?

Now I fully intended on seeing this, especially since I'm a fan of Spider-Man. But as time went on I unfortunately forgot about it and by the time I remembered it was far too late to give a review. I think I was like four weeks too late. So much like all of the other films I saved it for later.








What is The Spider?

The Spider is a short fan film that reimagines the origin story of Spider-Man but through a horror lens. It's produced by Locust Garden Pictures and was written and directed by Andy Chen.



The story is, during a school field trip Peter Parker is bitten by a spider and gains new abilities. It first seems like some incredible, but as time goes by Peter realizes he's turning into something else, something horrifying.








My Thoughts

The Good: First let's praise the special effects. Nicely done crew 👏🏻👏🏻. This only has a budget that was estimated at $5,000, yet the effects and sets are great. So once again give it up to the crew 👏🏻👏🏻. And once again big Hollywood studios, this just goes to show you don't need $200 million dollars for the budget. Ya just need people who know how to properly spend money! I also really dug the horror spin. Now even though I didn't hate movies like the two Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey flicks, The Mean One, or the more recent Screamboat, I'm fully aware their horror spin is a gimmick, but here, yeah. I love the Spidey and all, but his story is just ripe with horror potential and Andy Chen did a good job. Speaking of horror, let me give my thoughts on the horror aspect. Again, Andy Chen did a good job. He really nailed the body horror. And when watching this I couldn't help but think about David Cronenberg's The Fly remake. Cause we see Peter's body grossly break down much like how we saw Seth Brundle's body grossly break down. Then there was that big disgusting nightmare at the end. I won't give away what it is, but if you're gonna watch this on YouTube, brace yourself. My last praise is to Chandler Riggs' performance. While he does have some bits of dialogue, Chandler mainly has to get the point across by groaning in pain and such. His acting is mostly wordless, but you can just see how much effort he's putting in with anguished facial expressions. Hell he did such a good job I felt really bad for this version of Peter Parker.




The Bad: Now I do like this short, but I'm gonna admit it, I'm not a fan of the ending. I understand it's a fan film and maybe it was because of the budget, but the ending is still abrupt. Sure there's a post-credit scene, and it's cool not gonna lie, but we still have more questions than answers. There was nothing here that felt like a proper conclusion.




The Okay: I've got nothing.




Final Verdict: Good.











So that's all for now and I gotta say not a bad start to this edition of the Films of 2024, hopefully the rest are just as good. Due come back on Saturday, May 3rd, for my review of Marvel's newest movie, Thunderbolts. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.




P.S. After watching The Spider, I got an idea of what else I want to put on my blog. Found out what that'll be on June 5th.

Monday, April 28, 2025

The Accountant 2 Review

 


Alright another day, another film review. Let's get to it.





The Accountant 2 is an action-thriller movie and the sequel to the 2016 film. It was produced by Artists Equity, 51 Entertainment, Zero Gravity Management, and Filmtribe with distribution being handled by Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. Bill Dubuque returns to write with Gavin O'Connor also returning to direct.




The story is, after someone was close to her was killed, Treasury Department agent Marybeth Medina contacts Christian Wolff to solve the murder. Knowing he can't do this alone, Christian calls for his brother to help him. But as they get closer and closer to the truth, more and more of the most ruthless killers try to put a stop to them.








Initial Reaction

Having found the first movie pretty good, I was looking forward to the sequel. Especially since this time around we'd be getting to see more of Christian and his brother Braxton together.








Cons

I've got nothing negative to say. So let's move on.








Middle Ground

First let's start off with the action. Now it is well made. Nice choreography and some good hand-to-hand, however I gotta admit a lot of action scenes aren't very memorable. They're very standard. Really the only standout was the rescue scene at the end. Then there's the story. The two best ones were seeing Christian and Braxton reconnect as brothers when they've spent so much time apart, with themes such as family and loneliness being touched upon. The other good aspect was Christian's development. This time around he's moving on from past trauma and helping out those who are in similar situations as him. It's nicely done progression. However other characters such as Marybeth don't get anything and the female villain Anaïs gets a backstory, but because she's gone throughout the current events happening it's a little bit hard to get behind her character. There's also the human trafficking angle of the story. While it's handled with care the writer didn't explore much.








Pros

First there's the pacing. Small parts of the second act were slow, but what saved the pacing was the quick beginning and the third act ramping it up. So the pacing's pretty good. Because this time around Christian and Braxton are teaming up, we do dive into buddy-comedy moments. But you can breath a sigh of relief because the comedy was more natural and drew from character-driven moments then some stupid cringe worthy gags. The last thing is Ben Affleck and Jon Bernthal's chemistry. These two drive the movie. From action to emotional moments to funny brotherly banter , these two are a blast to watch.








The Accountant 2 while not the greatest, still has a lot going for it. So if you're looking for something fun to watch give this movie a shot.








My final rating is, Good.








Well I'm all done here. Come back on Thursday, May 1st, for part one of Looking Back at the Films of 2024. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Havoc Review

 


Finally! Me along with other fans of Gareth Evans have been waiting for this since 2021! And now, it's finally arrived!





Havoc is an action-thriller movie. It's produced by One More One, Severn Screen, and XYZ Films with Netflix distributing. Gareth Evans both wrote and directed.





The story is, after a drug deal goes horrible wrong, detective Walker must fight his way through the criminal underworld in order to rescue a politician's son. While going on this rescue mission he uncovers more the city's dark web of conspiracy and corruption.








Initial Reaction

Now I've been waiting for this movie since the announcement way back in 2021. I was especially excited for Gareth Evans for being the one who was gonna write and direct. And if any of you have ever seen The Raid movies, you'd understand why it's awesome to see and hear his name being attached. Oh, by the way, watch The Raid movies. They're awesome!








Cons

I've got nothing.








Middle Ground

First is the story. Now I'll be honest, yes, it's a very basic story. You're not gonna find anything groundbreaking, but as I've stated many times before, you can have a basic story as long as the journey from point A to point B has a good entertainment factor to it. And Havoc for the most part has that. Then there's the pacing. Then there's the cinematography. 99% of the time the cinematography is gorgeous. First let me show you the beautiful landscape shots.









Those are just pure eye candy. They're perfect. But then we get shots like these.







What the hell is going on?!? These look horrible. Especially that second one. What is that? Tom Hardy looks like he's photoshopped in. Since I'm on the subject matter now it's a good time to transition to the next slight problem. Some of the CGI & green screen aren't very good. Some I didn't mind cause it looked fine, but stuff like this, no. I can't come up with a defense for that. That's bad.








Pros

Let give credit to the thing will came here for, the action. I really liked the action. It's violence with bloody splattering everywhere with some creative kills put in. The biggest standouts were the nightclub scene and the cabin siege at the end. Those were awesome. My last bit of credit goes to Tom Hardy's performance. The character he's playing is a very standard grizzled, morally questionable cop, but Hardy is able to add a lot of depth with his charisma for dialogue moments and physicality when the action ramps up.








While there are issues I can't say I was fully disappointed. There is some fun to be add but yes, Evans' Raid movies are better, but again, still wasn't fully disappointed.








My final rating is, Okay.








So that'll be all for today. Come back on Monday, Apr 28th, for my review of The Accountant 2. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.

Thursday, April 24, 2025

A Look Back at The Accountant (2016)

 


With the sequel arriving soon, it's time to do what I usual do in this cases. Review what came before.





The Accountant is an action-thriller that was produced by Electric City Entertainment, RatPac-Dune Entertainment, and Zero Gravity Management and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. It's written by Bill Dubuque and directed by Gavin O'Connor.






The story is, an autistic man who goes by the alias Christian Wolff acts as a forensic accountant for criminal organizations where he "un-cooks" their financial records to uncover thefts. Because of these actions, the Treasury Department is hot on his heels and must find ways to avoid being captured. Just to make matters more intense, he's uncovered an embezzlement scheme where the ones behind it want him dead.








  • Negatives

I've got nothing.








  • Mix

One aspect that could've used some work was the pacing. Some moments do pick up a little bit but for the most part this movie can be slow in a lot of areas. This is a 2 hours and 8 minutes and there are times you come very close to feeling that runtime.



Then there's character development. Now Christian himself is pretty good. We learn a lot about him, as for the rest that's where the slight issue comes in. Some are okay nothing that really bothered me, but others are very underdeveloped. Those were the characters that were just there to move the plot forward and nothing else.








  • Positives

First bit goes to the premise. I was very much interested in how Christian works, what his world is like, and everything in between. You knew you could make an accountant a badass? It was a very fresh take for the action genre.



Then there's the growing tension. Throughout the plot you'll be left anxiously waiting for everything to come together in a big explosive way. From the embezzlement mystery to the government investigation of trying to find Wolff. It keeps you engaged from beginning to middle to end.



My next bit of praise goes to the action. The action perfectly showcases Christian's skill set and showed just how lethal he is. It's fun, well-choreographed, and intense, all backed up by Ben Affleck's very surprising physicality. Which made me really wish we had that solo Batman film of his. #MakeTheBatfleckMovie 😉😆



The last praise goes to Ben Affleck's performance. He is fantastic. He displays a strong but quiet character. He delivers the dialogue perfectly and I found it really shined when he was showing Christian's awkward side when the character is trying desperately to connect with other people. Ben was also doing great with facial expressions. The best example of those expressions is when he has a sensory overload and his eyes are intense and is jaw tightly clenched, a great way of showing distress without being over the top. And like I said before, he does a spectacular job with the action scenes. Both in martial arts and gunplay.








There are issues with The Accountant but, there's still a lot to like about the movie.








My final rating is, Good.








That's all for today. Come back on Saturday, April 26th, for the newest Netflix movie, Havoc. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.

Monday, April 21, 2025

Road to Karate Kid: Legends - The Karate Kid (2010) Review

 


Alright we're back the on the Road to Karate Kid: Legends. Hopefully this one will be better than the last movie I reviewed.




The Karate Kid (2010) is a martial arts drama film and the fifth movie in the franchise. It originally served as a loose remake but because of the upcoming Karate Kid: Legends, it's now retconned as taking place in the same continuity in the original film series' universe. The companies in charged of production were Columbia Pictures, China Film Group, Overbrook Entertainment, and JW Productions with Sony Pictures Releasing doing distributing. Robert Mark Kamen and Christopher Murphey wrote with Harald Zwart directing.





The story is, after getting a job transfer widowed mother Sherry and her 12-year-old son Dre move from Detroit, Michigan to Beijing, China. If handling moving to a different country wasn't bad enough Dre is being relentlessly bullied. He soon finds an ally in maintenance man Mr. Han, who teaches him the secrets of self-defense.








  • Negatives
I've got nothing to say here.








  • Mix

There's two mix bags here, staring with the pacing. While some moments move at a pretty good speed there are scenes where stuff can drag. To the point where you can almost feel the 2hr runtime.



Then there's the story. Now it is predictable. Kid is bullied and then by the end he isn't because he's proved himself but, but, there is a lot of good to it. It's got good themes of growth and finding belonging. So while you do know what's gonna happen next, especially if you're familiar with the 1984 film, at least there is a lot of heart put into. So the story doesn't feel like a cash grab when compared to other remakes.








  • Positives

One of the few good aspects is the cinematography. It's beautiful. You get visually striking images of China's landscapes, along with some nicely done urban settings. So thumbs up to the late Roger Pratt. 👍🏻



Then there's the fight scenes. I know some people complain about them looking to polished, but that didn't bother me too much. Sometimes I wish they were a bit more gritty, but I still had some fun with them. You'll get a kick (does this count as a pun?) out of them. Because there is a lot of authenticity to them and like all good action scenes, they do bring some pretty good character-driven stakes and growth to them.



The last praise will go to the performances. First there's Jaden Smith. He's really good when it comes to the more quieter moments and has some good charisma to him as well. Although sometimes he does force it with the dramatic stuff. But I think we should give him a pass on that. 1) He was 11 at the time of making this. 2) He only did two other movies prior to this so there wasn't that much experience under his belt and 3) there are way worse child performances than this one. But then we have the other star of the movie, Jackie Chan. He really grounds the whole movie, while still bringing humor and charm along the way. But wow, he is amazing at drama. There's one scene where his character [Mr. Han] is telling a story of terrible tragedy that happened to him in the past, and Chan kills it.








While not flawless a lot of the good helps bring balance to the more gray areas. It's not perfect but the movie still has a lot going for it.








My final rating is, Good.








Okay, that was way better than The Next Karate Kid. But that's a wrap for this road. Hopefully in May Karate Kid: Legends will be good. Anyways, that's all for now. Come back on Thursday, Apr 24th, for my A Look Back at review of 2016's The Accountant. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.

Thursday, April 17, 2025

Cinematic Disasters - Howard The Duck

 


Oh God! You have no idea how long I've been trying to hold this off with reviewing other movies. But the time has come. So let's just rip off the band aid.





Howard the Duck is a comic book movie based on the Marvel Comics' character of the same name. It was produced by Lucasfilm, yes, the same production company that made Star Wars, with Universal Pictures distributing. This was written by Gloria Katz and Willard Huyck, who also had a hand in writing the story.





The story is, Howard was just minding his own business when suddenly he's transported from his world to yours. Now he must find a way back to his dimension, but he soon finds out he's not the only thing that came through. Only the other creature isn't so friendly.







My Thoughts

Now I do wanna touch on one positive. That being the Howard the Duck costume. It's not half bad, sure it could've been better but for 1986 it's still good.



Alright with all of the good out of the way it's time to get into the garbage, and oh boy is there a lot of it. The movie starts off with Howard's world where everybody is a duck and that world is filled with duck puns. No I'm serious everything has some sort of duck pun in it. There's Breeders of the Lost Stork, Rolling Egg, Splashdance, and this.




Your eyes don't deceive you! This is actually in the movie! And it gets worse!




Once again, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. This is real.



So after that a sudden quake (surprisingly Howard doesn't call it a "quack") happens, then out of nowhere Howard is pulled and crashes through walls surprising his neighbors and we see this.




Now you're probably wondering, "why am I tormenting you by showing duck tits?" Simple, I was tormented with this imagery so now you're gonna feel my pain as well. Oh and another thing, this was marketed as a family movie. Let that sink in for a bit.



Afterwards, Howard saves and befriends a struggling musician named Beverly. And she very very quickly just accepts him as a friend and is totally calm about him being a talking duck. A matter of fact throughout the movie almost everybody isn't taken aback by Howard. Sure he gets into fights with humans in a couple of scenes, but 97% of the time nobody is shocked. Hell, one part of the movie shows Howard having a job as a janitor for a romance spa. That means Howard was interviewed and the guy who runs the place wasn't shocked by an anthropomorphic duck. Even the customers in the romance spa weren't shocked. Does this sort of thing happen more than usual in this universe?! WHY IS NOBODY FREAKING OUT!?!



Beverly takes Howard back to her apartment and throughout this scene it's just over long exposition dump about Beverly's problems and how she and her band have a scummy manager (why doesn't she just fire the guy in the first place is never explained), and just on and on. So Howard falls asleep and Beverly goes through his wallet. Because that's the polite thing to do when you let a guest crash at your place. Invade their personal belongs. Unsurprisingly Howard's wallet contains and you won't believe this...more duck related jokes, oh and this.




I know George Lucas is a flawed filmmaker, but between the duck boobs and now this I gotta wonder why didn't he bail out of producing this? Was the paycheck really worth it?



So once that new piece of disturbing was over, Beverly takes Howard to a scientist named Phil Blumburtt, and he is so annoying! Not one line or antic from Phil is funny. He's a terrible comedic relief and I was hoping he wouldn't pop up again, but no. He plays an important role which means we're stuck with him!



Later it's revealed Phil is only a lab assistant, Howard is pissed about this, rejects Beverly's help, and gets a job at the previously mentioned romance spa...but then quickly goes back to Beverly. So what was the point? Why did the writers have this big emotional fallout only for it to be quickly resolved. You might as well have kept them together without the big fight. Howard later finds Bev and her band performing, where he confronts their terrible manager, which leads to this.




They got their asses kicked by a three foot talking duck...those guys can never show their faces out in public ever again.



Then we're finally at the movie's most infamous moment.




Mr. Lucas, I ask yet again, was that paycheck really worth it? I also came to ask another big question. That being why is this movie so weirdly sexual with Howard? First duck knockers, then the condom, and now this love scene! Did Gloria Katz and Willard Huyck want to the fuck the duck?! What the hell is going on?!?



So if you're still watching after that, Howard, Beverly, Phil and another scientist named Dr. Walter Jennings go to the lab and plan to send Howard back but find out the machine is broken. The reason being something else came through, and that something else has possessed Dr. Jennings and refers to himself as the "Dark Overlord of the Universe". Howard and Beverly later take him to a diner and they don't believe in what he's saying. Even though his skin is clearly changing and clearly not using his voice to talk. Then after some customers try to kill Howard, and sadly not succeed, the Dark Overlord kidnaps Beverly. Which he really doesn't need to do. Sure later on he says he wants to use Beve's body to have another one of his kind possess her but why? All he and his species want to do is annihilate everything not secretly takeover.



So after Howard and Phil (I told you we were stuck with him) evade capture from the police, they're back at the lab and Howard is ready to do battle with Dark Overlord. Who stops possessing Dr. Jennings and transformers into his real self. And I present to you a small snippet of the special effects for Overlord.




Yeah, I almost forgot to mention. But whenever the movie isn't doing puppeteering or suits for Howard, the effects dip in quality.



To make this last part short, Howard successfully defeats the Dark Overlord, closes the portal, and even though that means he's stuck in a different dimension, he can still be with Beverly and be the manager for her rock band. I didn't know Howard had experience in such a thing but apparently he does.









So that was Howard the Duck, and wow was it bad. Not only was it not really exciting but it could just be plain stupid, and not in any sort of fun way. Also, exposed duck tits, condoms, and coming this close 🤏 to seeing a human woman have sex with a duck. I want to remind you this was marketed towards families.








My final rating is, DESTROY IT!








That's all for now. Come back on Monday, Apr 21st, for the last part of my Road to Karate Kids: Legends with my review of The Karate Kid (2010). Hopefully that'll be better than what I just reviewed, until then enjoy the rest of your day and I hope on Sunday you have a very Happy Easter 🐰.