⚠WARNING!!!⚠: I WILL BE DIVING INTO SPOILERS! SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED LEAVE NOW!
......We all owe the 2011 Green Lantern film starring Ryan Reynolds an apologize. It's still not good but compared to this it's a masterpiece.
Lanterns is a comic book tv series based on the DC Comics' comic book series Green Lantern (or at least that's what the creators of this show want you to believe) and it's part of the DC Universe and their Chapter One: Gods & Monsters. The series is produced by Man, Woman, & Child Productions, DC Studios, and Warner Bros. Television and distributed by HBO. The show is created by Chris Mundy, Damon Lindelof, and Tom King. This season consist of eight episodes.
The story is, in Rushville, Nebraska four people were shot and killed during a football game. Feeling there's an alien connection to these killings Green Lantern Hal Jordan & trainee John Stewart go there to investigate. This mystery will lead to darker questions and reckonings.
- Negatives
Oh believe me folks, there's a lot of negatives to write about. Starting with how the writers to this didn't understand Green Lantern lore. For starters, what's this whole thing about Hal training John to his replacement? Throughout the show there's only one ring for them to have. That wasn't a thing in the comics. In the comics the Earth lanterns are chosen as backups to Hal Jordan and given rings. That was the case with Guy Gardner and do you know who else was a backup for Hal...John Stewart! So why does this whole thing of "only one can wear the ring" matter in this show? It seems like in the comics the Guardians of Oa were just giving those away to Earthlings. Then there's also the fact they completely nerf the Green Lantern ring. That ring is a very powerful weapon in the DC Universe. But apparently in this show the ring is always running out of juice (when it's convenient to the plot) and it's weakness is black smoke. The only reason this ring is so weak is because the writers aren't creative enough to write about such a powerful weapon. And I know they're not creative with the ring because there's so many boring construct in this show. Several of them are forgettable, there was only one construct that stuck out and it was some sort of drilling machine. And speaking of construct and yet again not understanding how Green Lantern powers work, apparently you don't need a ring to keep a construct active. Because in the second episode John is able to keep a constructed bird around with no ring. Oh and also the ring ask you if you're afraid and if you say who are then you're not worthy to be a Green Lantern...that's not how it works! The ring has internal scans so the ring should know if somebody is afraid or not. Not to mention but if a Green Lantern ring approaches you it means you have the strength to overcome fear.
Then we have the woke crap. Yes, just like a previous DC Universe tv series project the writers gotta inject the very same thing that's killing the entertainment industry. The biggest example of this is episode three, OutKast. Where John's mother (I'll get into that crazy bitch later) was going on and on about how Hal Jordan was "privilege" enough not to know fear. Ah yes, Hal Jordan with his famous and well known privilege. The same Hal who in the comics saw his father die in a test flight, who's city got destroyed then that tragic disaster caused him to lose his mind, got possessed by a cosmic entity that's the embodiment of fear then that same entity turned him into a villain. It's also the same Hal who died, then was bonded with The Spectre (who's the embodiment of God's vengeance) and had to struggle controlling said spirit of wraith. And this stupidity gets dumber because John's mother actually accuses the Guardians of Oa of racism. You have no idea how much I wish I was making that up. The writers even explained how the ring is sexist! Yet again, you have no idea how much I wish I was making that up. I can name three no, five female Green Lanterns. There's Jessica Cruz, Arisia, Jade, Soranik, and Laira. And those are the ones I know on the top of my head. I bet there's somebody out who made a whole list of female Green Lanterns I wasn't aware of or forgot.
Then there's the characters of this show. I'm not gonna go over every single one of them just the most important ones.
-Hal Jordan: This show has nothing but hate towards Hal Jordan. If you read any of his comic books or which his animated movies then you can easily tell he's the most disrespected character in the entire show. At first he's just an asshole. But as the show goes on they change him, not for the better no. They change him for the worst. Cause by the end of this season Hal is revealed to be a broken man with a family history of depression. Oh that whole thing about being broken is implied to be why Hal is fearless. Not because he's brave but because he's broken. And here I thought him getting killed off in the first episode was gonna be the worst thing but boy was I wrong.
-John Stewart: I absolutely hate this version of John Stewart. Not only can be boring but he's not a good hero. He doesn't want to be a Green Lantern because it's the right thing to do, no, it's because his parents groomed him to be a Green Lantern. But what really made me hate was the last episode. He covered up for the woman who killed Hal thus making him complicit, but he becomes his own Lantern by embracing fear (which is a horrible message) but he also has the nerve to tell Guy Gardner (a fellow Green Lantern) to patrol and protect the galaxy and he'll protect Earth because Earth is his. Yes, he's claimed Earth as his property. Oh and that ring he's using his Hal's ring that he stole from Hal's corpse. This guy isn't a hIero, he's a Yellow Lantern in the making.
-Sheriff Kerry: At first she didn't bother me. I thought she was decent...but then the big twist with her was revealed. Basically she killed Hal during an emotional breakdown because Hal find out her son Noah was the last remaining Manhunter (Manhunters being highly dangerous machines capable of eliminating entire populations). But not only did she shoot and kill Hal, but she tried to cover up her crime. All in an effort to protect her son. A son who's struggling with internal Manhunter programming by the way and probably has aspirations that could put the world in danger. So yeah, Kerry is a murder protecting her son who's a possible threat.
-Guy Gardner: Guy isn't in the show that much but I hate what they did to him in the final episode. Basically after John makes his big grand speech about how Earth is his, Guy is actually intimidated by this and flies away to tell the Guardians of Oa about John's actions. In other words, they made Guy a pussy in this episode. Which is something he's not in the comics and it doesn't make any sense. This is the same exact Guy who wasn't afraid to throw down with Superman in Superman (2025). So Guy's not gonna take any shit from the Man of Steel, but John is what makes him be a tattletale to the Guardians?
-Sinestro: This is a lousy villain. His big villain arc and his entire history with Hal was skipped. He only did three things on this show. Talk to Hal about John. Escape from his prison (off-screen). And make John's lantern. That's it. The biggest villain in the history of Green Lantern was reduced to basically guest appearances and a sentence about his escape. Such fantastic writing.
-Mr and Mrs. Stewart: THESE PARENTS ARE ABSOLUTELY INSANE! It's one thing if they trained little kid John to become a Green Lantern by putting him through tough training routines and being a little hard on him, but the way these two did it should've gotten John taken away from these lunatics. Not only does his dad have an inferiority complex and his mom's batshit crazy but their training methods consist of making John walk home from a ghetto at night and shooting apples off of the top of John's head. And when I mean shoot, I don't mean they're using a bow and arrow, they're using bullets to shoot apples off of John's head. Where in God's name was child protection services?!?
So yeah, the characters in this show suck.
- Mix
The only mix bag is the acting. Not in a sense everyone was decent, but more like their acting is good but the material they're working with is garbage.
- Positives
Really? You think I'm gonna say anything nice about this show with how much I ranted on it?
Lanterns is gonna do far more harm to the Green Lantern brand than the 2011 film ever could.
My final rating is, Awful!
If you want actually want some real Green Lantern material stick to the comics written by the likes of Dennis O'Neil, Ron Marz, Judd Winick, Geoff Johns, Peter J. Tomasi, Robert Venditti (mainly his Rebirth era work), and more recently the stuff written by Jeremy Adams. And if that's too many comics for you to read, then go watch Green Lantern: The Animated Series on Tubi (while it's still on there) and the two animated movies Green Lantern: First Flight & Green Lantern: Emerald Knights. And if you're more interested in John then Hal, then go watch the cartoons of Justice League & Justice League Unlimited. Then when you're done watching that stuff then maybe go read the comics. Just don't bother with Lanterns.
So that's going to do it for me. Come back on Thursday, Oct 8th, for a return to the creepy stuff with my review of George A. Romero's 1973 film, The Crazies. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day and don't watch Lanterns. Save yourself the headache and don't bother with this show.
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