A Christmas Story 2 is a 2012 straight-to-DVD comedy film and the sequel to 1983's A Christmas Story. The movie is produced by Hollywood Media Bridge and Telvan Productions and distributed by Warner Premiere. A Christmas Story 2 was written by Nat Mauldin and directed by Brian Levant.
The story is Ralphie who is now a teenager has moved away from childish gifts such as a Red Ryder air rifle to wanting a car for Christmas. One day Ralphie accidentally destroys a car and has to pay for the damages. Now Ralphie and his friends must get jobs in order to pay back the car lot manager.
My Thoughts
One thing I got to complain about with this film is it's mere existence. Did anyone ANYONE demand A Christmas Story 2? Because last time I checked everyone was pretty satisfied with the first movie just fine. I mean just watch the trailer does anything about it say "your are definitely in for a good time".
If you now have a feeling of "Wow! That was painful to watch". Well I feel your pain guys. I feel YOUR pain.
Another thing I hate about this movie is it's narrator. I know they couldn't have gotten Jean Shepherd because he sadly passed away in 1999. But could they have gotten someone who sounded similar to him? The new narrator sounds like Adam West but if he was bored out of his mind.
The other aspect of the movie that is really awful is Ralphie. He has so many creepy moments. Now yes he did have questionable moments in the first movie such as him rubbing the leg lamp. But in this movie he's questionable moments are pushed up to 11. He has this crush on a girl named Drucilla. One moment in the film during music class he sniffs her hair and then he fantasizes about them being married. While he's doing this it looks like he's getting aroused. I'm not joking about this folks. Even Freddy Kruger would being say this guys creepy.
Then we have one of the many miscast in film. And it's Daniel Stern as the Old Man. Because this
Totally looks exactly like this
Not to mention but they completely didn't understand this character. For instance in A Christmas Story it was firmly established that he loves turkey a "turkey junkie" if you will. So that basically means I'll do anything for turkey. But in this movie when the turkey cost 40 cents a pound he won't buy it. Also he's a complete jerk. Yeah the Old Man in the first movie was flawed but here's the thing and this one is important HE WAS STILL LIKABLE! A Christmas Story 2's Old Man is an asshole from beginning to end with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
The other problem with this movie is Ralphie's fantasies. Despite being a teenage boy he sure doesn't have realistic daydreams. Here's a complete I listed
- Saving Drucilla from a Nazi.
- Going to prison and getting hung over the car he slightly destroyed.
- Getting praised by Franklin D. Roosevelt for being an amazing employee at a mall.
This would make sense if you know was still a kid because kid's imaginations are suppose be this crazy and nonsensical. He only has one ONE daydream that's logical and that's him driving his new car with his dream girl Drucilla.
Oh and speaking of Drucilla what does Ralphie see in her? We know nothing about her and what Ralphie finds so attractive about her. And I do believe in this whole movie she only says two lines. One was in Ralphie's fantasy and the other is at the end of the movie. Why should we care if Ralphie and her become a couple if she's barely in the film.
So the main plot in this movie is Ralphie has to make $85 dollars to pay for the damages to the car he destroyed. Then after thinking very very very VERY hard about this he comes up with the brilliant idea of him and his friends getting jobs. I bring this up because the movie made this out to be some sort of big deal. Like why is this such a big and grand epiphany. Shouldn't that have being the most obvious choice? Ralphie kinds of a dumbass in the movie.
Then we come to our next problem with this movie and that's it's recycling jokes from the first movie. One them being Flick getting his tongue stuck. Now I want you to look back at this scene from the first Christmas Story.
Now Flick is screaming like crazy. He is basically traumatized for life from that experience. Least that's my view point of the situation because had that ever happened to me as a kid that's what I would have done. Now here's a clip from A Christmas Story 2 with pretty much the same gag.
Why?! Why would Flick do that after what happened to him several years ago!? Also he's like what in his mid-teens? Why would a boy his age want to do that. And it's that just a lovely image for the Christmas season. Seeing a boy get his lips nearly ripped off. Like I said they only reason for this joke was the first movie did it. Hell earlier in the movie when Ralph breaks the car he says "oh fudge".
Now for every trope in a bad comedy sequel to a good movie is high jinks. What happens is Ralphine, Flick, and Schwartz get jobs at a mall and despite doing everything wrong they surprisingly don't get fired. Here's some of the stuff that happened
- Wrapping presents for the customers one of which has a baby and you wrapped up the baby possibly suffocating it.
- Destroy a mannequin, accidentally fling a shoe so hard it destroys a pyramid of drinking glasses, and spray yourself in the eyes with perfume.
- Stand-in as elves for Santa only for that to somehow result in a fight between Flick and Schwartz.
And that last one was funny because during that time Flick and Schwartz are going at it, Ralphie says "Guys are you crazy?! You're gonna get a us fired!" Are you sure about that Ralphie! Are you sure you're gonna get fired! For crying out loud you and your friends nearly killed a baby and you still kept your jobs!
Now I'm gonna end it because for the rest of the movie it's just more forced humor and a predictable ending because well...the first movie had a happy ending.
So that was A Christmas Story 2 and it's everything we expect from a terrible sequel to a beloved classic. It repeats things that the first movie did, the performances aren't any better, there's no charming characters or moments, and really really REALLY awful comedy.
My final rating is Destroy It!
State of The Project (Nov 10th - Nov 17th)
Nov 10th - The Grinch Review
Nov 15th - Change of Plans
Nov 19th - A Look Back at Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
Nov 22nd - Ralph Breaks the Internet Review
Dec 3rd - Classic Film Night - A Christmas Story Review
Dec 6th - Cinematic Disasters - A Christmas Story 2
Dec 17th - A Look Back at Mary Poppins (1964)
NOTE: THIS SCHEDULE COULD CHANGE BECAUSE MY FRIEND BRIAN MIGHT TAKE ME TO SEE SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE THAT'S IF FINALS DON'T GET IN THE WAY. NOW IF I DON'T HAVE A REVIEW FOR SPIDER-VERSE I'LL KEPT MY REVIEWS OF BOTH MARY POPPINS FILMS AND A REVIEW OF AQUAMAN.
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