North is a 1994 comedy-drama adventure movie based on the 1984 novel, North: The Tale of a 9-Year-Old Boy Who Becomes a Free Agent and Travels the World in Search of the Perfect Parents by Alan Zweibel. The movie was produced by New Line Cinema and Castle Rock Entertainment and distributed by Columbia Pictures. North was written by Alan Zweibel and Andrew Scheinman and directed by Rob Reiner.
The story is North is a talented and bright kid but sadly his parents are always preoccupied with other things going on in their lives, this makes North feel very much ignored. So one day he decides to legally separate himself form his parents and travel the world in search of new ones.
My Thoughts
Now before I dive deeper into this movie let's talk about the character of North. Now, he's suppose to be this really smart kid we're talkin' academic level smart but for me there's nothing really smart about him. I mean it's not smart to leave your biological parents and go on a cross country trap to find new ones. If North was really smart he would've left his mom and dad and stayed with close relatives as suppose to his trip where he runs the risk of being kidnapped or worse.
Let's move on towards the other characters.......I felt nothing for them. I didn't love them nor did I hate them. There's nothing to feel with them. I just didn't care. Which says lot since at one point in this movie North is getting chased down by someone who wants to kill him, and I'm just sitting there like "Oh, we're doing this now...okay". How do you do that? How do you make me or anybody else feel nothing for characters?
Another HUGE issue with North is the horrible jokes. I mean it, this movie's attempts at comedy are just painful. Nothing about this movie is funny. I dare say it's worse than any theatrical released parody of the past. I'm talking Date, Epic, or whatever it's called movie. Yeah, the jokes are that bad.
What also makes me hate this movie is there's so many things about that don't make any sense. For instance, how is North able to get on a plane? He's an unattended child with no parents. How hasn't security or somebody not stop him? Then we have lines like this that say and I quote "As of next Monday, no parent will be permitted to see an R-rated movie, unless accompanied by a kid." What?! Out of all of the lines in this movie THAT was the one that left me confused and scratching my head.
The last thing I'll criticize North for is how bland it looks. From directing to cinematography there's not one shot that stands out or catches your eye. Every scene looks either uninteresting or generic. It's one thing that your movie is poorly written, it's another thing when it looks boring.
North truly deserved every single bit of negativity related to it. The character of North isn't everything he's cracked up to be, the other characters are just as uninteresting, the jokes are atrocious, nothing about it makes sense, and the overall look of the film is so boring.
My final rating is Destroy It!
So once again this was a very short Cinematic Disasters review. I promise the next one will be much longer and go into my details. Anyhow, come back on Thursday, App 22nd for What You Probably Didn't Know About The Dirty Dozen. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.
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