Cinematic Disasters - Titanic: The Legend Goes On

 

Yes folks, there is, somehow, another animated Titanic movie. Because apparently one wasn't enough.

Titanic: The Legend Goes On is an animated musical movie, based on the sinking of the RMS Titanic. It was produced by Titanic Cartoons SRL and distributed by Medusa Film. Titanic: The Legend Goes On is written and directed by Camillo Teti.

The story is...basically the exact same as the last one. Two people fall in love on the Titanic. Then things get disastrous. The only difference is no whale hunting, puppy face octopuses, and people actually died on the Titanic.

My Thoughts

Much like the last animated Titanic, jeez I can't believe that's a sentence I wrote, this one also features talking anthropomorphic animals. These ones are even worse. How? Well, they have no reason to be here. The only things I remember them doing, is returning a necklace to its rightful owner and having a very random celebration.

Now ladies and gentlemen, to show you not just a scene from the movie, but thee scene. I present to you, the rapping dog.

Oh yes, you indeed just saw that. That IS in the movie. And what makes even weirder isn't the fact he's singing a genre of music that won't be invented until more than several decades later, it's the lead-in sentence that made him bust out rapping. How does someone being thankful they weren't eaten alive warrant a rap number about partying? Where's the correlation in those?!

With that stuff out of the way, this movie is also, and this is gonna shock you, but it's also ripping off James Cameron's Titanic. The story's told in flashback, there's a love story, there's a blue amulet, and there's a scene where the poor character gets clothes from another passenger because they don't have any fancy clothes. The only difference is instead of rich chick falls for poor guy, it's rich guy falls for poor girl. See, it's gender swapped so it's totally original now. And if it's not ripping off Titanic, then it's ripping off Cinderella, because Angelica (our main female lead) has an evil stepmother and evil stepsisters. And because this also has anthropomorphic animals, you can even say it's ripping off the first rip-off! There's not one original thing in this entire movie! It's. Just. One. Big. Rip-Off!

Since I brought up Angelica and her love story, let's get that out of the way. I'll give the love story this, her and William have more scenes together than Don Juan and Elizabeth. Which isn't saying much, because I think those two only had like three scenes together, four if you count the ballroom dance. Either way, that doesn't sound like enough scenes for them to be together and then by the end of the movie, get married. Oh there's another rip-off. The barely developed couple get married at the end. I know I already said it, but this movie is just one big rip-off.

Which now leads me to the voice acting. I don't know which is worse? The voice acting in The Legend of the Titanic or this? The voice work is bland. Every actor and actress sound bored out of their minds. A majority of them sound like they want to be anywhere else than here. Despite that, there is one funny thing. There's a child mouse character, and the child actor is always changing his accent. One moment he sounds Italian, the next he's French, and I think the third was Mexican? I don't know if the kid was just doing a bad job or if he was just messing with the filmmakers. I hope it's the latter, cause that'd be pretty funny.

Alright let's get to the animation. Now the previous animated Titanic flick had some bland animation, but at least it looked competently made. Here, it's bad. Anytime anyone moves, their movements are almost unnaturally stiff. There's nothing lively about these characters. When that's not happening, then they'll just reuse footage from a previous scene, over and over again, no matter how blatantly obvious it is.

The last thing I'll write about is actually the very last line in the entire movie. Basically there's an epilogue that tells what happened to the characters afterwards. The narrator goes on about how people got married and some animals got adopted. Then when that's out of the way, the very last thing the narrator says is...

"Well here's hoping they'll all live happily ever after. See ya soon!"

Happily ever after?! Happily ever after?! What the ever lovin' hell?! This is the story of the freakin' Titanic! Nobody lived happily ever after! People drowned and died or froze to death. Sure, I imagine some of the passengers who survived did get married, but some of them probably had PTSD. The story of the Titanic is not something that's meant to have a happy ending.

Wow, all I can say is my final rating is, Destroy It!

Well this sucked. Anyhow, come back on Friday, Nov 24th, for part six of Looking Back at the Films of 2022. For that one I'll be reviewing The Fablemans, The Menu, and Strange World. Until then, enjoy the rest of your day, and I hope on Thursday you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving.