Okay we're on to part two. Let's do it!
Why Didn't I See Heart Eyes?
I didn't know about this until I saw it on the DVD and Blu-Ray copies on the shelves at Wal-Mart. So since I was way too late to get a review of it, it was best to save it for this segment.
What is Heart Eyes?
Heart Eyes is a romantic comedy slasher that was produced by Spyglass Media Group and Divide/Conquer with Screen Gems distributing. The screenplay was written by Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, and Michael Kennedy with Josh Ruben in the director's chair.
The story is, each Valentine's Day a masked serial killer known as Heart Eyes hunts and kills couples. Elsewhere, in an effort to make her ex-boyfriend jealous marketer Ally kisses freelance advertiser Jay, but this fake loving kiss catches the attention of Heart Eyes who mistaken them as an actual couple. Now Ally and Jay must find a way to survive this deranged murder or else they'll be another set of victims.
My Thoughts
The Good: One praise I want to give is the kills. There pretty brutal and often times darkly funny, which mixes well with the movie's overall dark comedic tone. Speaking of comedy, let's get to it. While sometimes things just weren't funny, I found myself laugh more then less. My favorite part is when Ally and Jay yet just barely survived Heart Eyes, they're both frustrated and Jay shouts "Will you go kill somebody else!" I just loved that part. The last thing I'll credit is our leads Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding. While I don't think their chemistry is gonna blow the world away, I do think they were very charming and pretty funny together. And they worked so well with the movie's tone.
The Bad: I've got nothing.
The Okay: My only slight issue was the story. Now our characters trying to outwit and survive Heart Eyes, that was all good. We got some pretty good character moments, the previously mentioned comedy, the previously mentioned kills, etc. But where it dipped quite a bit for me was the identity reveal. Without trying to give too much away, one piece of the identity reveal involves a character we barely saw. They shared one scene with Ally and that's it. We didn't any other clues or hints.
Final Verdict: Good.
Why Didn't I See Popeye's Revenge?
Now truth be told I was keeping an on this newest public domain horror movie, but as time I went by I did start to slowly forget. So, I guess I'm sorry.
What is Popeye's Revenge?
Popeye's Revenge is a slasher film that's a horror reimaging of E.C. Segar's character Popeye. It was produced and distributed by ITN Studios. Harry Boxley wrote the screenplay with William Stead directing.
The story is, a boy named Johnny is born deformed and because of this he's treated like an abomination. This repeated mistreatment eventually leads him to murder a child and causes an angry mob to go after him. Year later and believed dead, Tara and her friends inherit the house where many tragedies occurred. What they think was gonna be a simple plan to convert into a summer camp, they quickly learn that Johnny now going by Popeye is back, and he plans to kill everyone.
My Thoughts
The Good: I've got nothing.
The Bad: Oh boy, where do I begin? Let's start off with our characters. Oh boy, these characters are so one dimensional. They either little to no personalities to talk about. They were boring. So when any of them get killed you're not gonna care because there was nothing to care about them. Then there's the filmmaking. Let me break it down for you. When it came to the kills, those were decent. It's clear the filmmakers took some time to bring focus to those, but holy crap, did anybody working on this movie knew how to throw a convincing fake punch? Remember how you and your buddies would pretend to have a fake fight, and when you went for a punch you'd always make sure your fist was a mile away that way you didn't actually hurt your friend? That's what the punches in this movie reminded me of. I don't know what the situation was. Either the filmmakers rushed to get this movie out to the public, so they didn't both to do more takes for the action scenes, or they were deathly afraid of any of the actors getting hurt. Either way, when it comes to hand-to-hand it looks incredibly amateurish. It was laughable. But I think the absolute worse thing about this movie, or maybe the second worse depending on your view point, is Popeye himself. This verison was Popeye in name only. We don't see him eat spinach, he doesn't say any of his iconic catchphrase like "Blow me down", "That's all I can stands, and I can't stand no more!" or his most famous "I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam". No, instead we get snarls, groans, grunts, and his one vocal line of "TaRa!". At least with those Twisted Childhood Universe horror flicks like Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood & Honey, they'll have one or two things that'll tell you these are truly those childhood characters corrupted versions. But with this Popeye he might as well put on a hockey mask on go by the name of Jason.
The Okay: Some actors and actress are decent at best, but then you have actors so bad I don't even think they'd be go enough for porn. Then we have the special effects. Now the practical stuff was actually pretty decent, but when they used CGI it's bad. So bad it would only be good for SyFy original movies or Asylum mockbusters.
Final Verdict: Bad.
So that's all for today. Come back on Saturday, Feb 28th for my review of Scream 7! Oh man am I excited for that one! Until then, enjoy the rest of your day.
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