Movie 43 is a 2013 "comedy" film it's produced by Virgin Produced, GreeneStreet Films, and Charles B. Wessler Entertainment and distributed by Relativity Media. The movie is directed by many people such as Peter Farrelly, Steven Brill, Will Graham, and Steve Carr just to name a few and written by lots of people such as James Gunn(yes the guy that brought us Guardians of the Galaxy & Slither), Ricky Blitt, Will Carlough, Steve Barker, and Olle Sarri again just to name a few.
The story is...I don't know what the story is there is no story. Movie 43 is just a series a short films and it's not like an anthology film such as Creepshow where their tied together by a theme or premise it's just a series of random shorts put together to make up a 94 minute movie unless your in the UK you guys unfortunately got a 98 minute version of the movie I feel so sorry for you it may be just an extra 4 minutes slapped together but nobody deserves even an extra second of this abomination.
Now normanly I would give the negatives, mix, and positives but I only do that if there's any redeeming quality to a movie I could say the performances are good but that's not enough. So what I'm going to do is tell the stories to a couple of these shorts in the movie I'm not going to tell you about every single one because then this post will feel too long for me. So enough of that let's talk about some of the short stories to Movie 43.
The Catch
The story to this short is Beth(Kate Winslet) is going out a date with the city's most eligible bachelor Davis(Hugh Jackman) during the course of the date Davis removes his scarf to reveal a pair of testicles on his neck. Then the whole "joke" of this segment is nobody seems to notice or acknowledge them all while Beth tries not be sick to her stomach. Spoiler alert this isn't funny at all.
Homeschooled
Our next story is a couple named Sean(Alex Cranmer) & Claire(Julie Ann Emery) have recently moved and they have coffee with their new neighbors Robert(Liev Schreiber) & Samantha(Naomi Watts) during this they reveal they homeschool their son Kevin(Jeremy Allen White) and they do this by copying all the things they had in high school like hazing, bullying, detention and parties. Things get worse when Kevin has his first kiss and Mom comes up with the idea that your first kiss needs to be awkward so she volunteers to be his first kiss. The neighbors are rightfully disturbed by this so they meet Kevin and he gives them the impression that everything is fine only to say he's going out on a date with a doll made of a mop with his mom's face on it. 1) How is this funny? 2) This family have some serious issues and 3) Who raises a kid like this?!
The Proposition
This is story is about Julie(Anna Faris) and Doug(Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. So Doug wants to marry Julie then she tells him how she has a fetish for shit(gross!). So Doug's friends tell him he should do it then he eats a large meal & drinks a bottle of laxative. Then Julie wants fourplay but Doug wants to finish so see storms out Doug chases after her only to get hit by a car then graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere even on Julie(gross!). So she cradles him, apologizes, and accepts his marriage proposal all while saying it's "the most beautiful thing".
iBabe
The next segment is about a company releasing a new product called iBabe a life-sized naked woman that functions like an MP3 player. The Boss(Richard Gere) listen to his fellow employees talk about how a fan is located in the genital area where it's cutting off teenage boys dicks. Their solution to this problem is tell everybody in their new commercial.
So let's recap so far our stories are a guy has a pair of balls on his chin, a very disturbed kid who is homeschooled, a woman who will only marry a man if takes a shit, and a robot woman's fangina cutting off dicks. Wow such quality writing he said sarcastically. Let's just talk about two more shorts then end this review.
Truth or Dare
The story is Donald(Stephen Merchant) & Emily(Halle Berry) don't want to do the typical first date so they play a game of truth or dare. Before I go on here's a list of what they did in their game.
So after all of that Donald & Emily go to her apartment they prasie their date then Donald goes for a kiss only for Emily to reject it because she's not into Asian men. Then she says she was joking and they proceeded to have sex.
Beezel
This segment is about Amy(Elizabeth Banks) being worried her boyfriend Anson's(Josh Duhamel) cat Beezel(who's a cartoon cat) is coming between them. One day Amy sees Beezel mastrubating to a photo of Anson in a swimsuit then Beezel attacks & urinates on her. After that Anson still finds Beezel innocent but Amy threatens to leave so Anson agrees to find him a new home. Later that night the couple have sex while Beezel is in a closet tearfully watching while sodomizing himself with a hairbrush & dry humping a teddy bear(I'm starting to think the writers should have gone to therapy). So it's the day that the cat has to go away but Amy goes outside only to be ran over by a truck driven by Beezel & he attempts to shoot her. Amy chases after him then beats him with a shovel. This is witnessed by Anson and a group of children at a birthday party Beezel acts innocent so Anson sides with the cat then Amy is attacked & murdered by the children because she beaten Beezel up.
Before I give my rating for this movie let me have a couple of final words. This film is so awful I think everybody who worked on the movie hated it. Relativity Media did little to promote it hell by memory I think I only saw one maybe two TV spots for it & all the actors in this film didn't plug it in during any of their interviews. Many actors declined one being George Clooney and Richard Gere wanted out of the project. I think I also saw shows like Inside Edition or Entertainment Tonight report on the negative reception to the movie that's when you know your film is bad when even television wants to broadcast about how horrible your film is. To this day I haven't seen any stations like TBS or Comedy Central put it on their schedules and they showed Meet The Spartans & Disaster Movie. I can't believe this film took four years to make & had a total of twenty writers and this was the best they could come up with.
Movie 43 is the most unfunny movie I've ever saw it's just gross, cruel, none of the comedy works & some shorts are just in there for shock value alone.
My final rating for this movie is Destroy It!
So I hoped you enjoyed this because my next Cinematic Disaster will be a film I hate with a firey passion that film is 1987's Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
The Proposition
This is story is about Julie(Anna Faris) and Doug(Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. So Doug wants to marry Julie then she tells him how she has a fetish for shit(gross!). So Doug's friends tell him he should do it then he eats a large meal & drinks a bottle of laxative. Then Julie wants fourplay but Doug wants to finish so see storms out Doug chases after her only to get hit by a car then graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere even on Julie(gross!). So she cradles him, apologizes, and accepts his marriage proposal all while saying it's "the most beautiful thing".
iBabe
The next segment is about a company releasing a new product called iBabe a life-sized naked woman that functions like an MP3 player. The Boss(Richard Gere) listen to his fellow employees talk about how a fan is located in the genital area where it's cutting off teenage boys dicks. Their solution to this problem is tell everybody in their new commercial.
So let's recap so far our stories are a guy has a pair of balls on his chin, a very disturbed kid who is homeschooled, a woman who will only marry a man if takes a shit, and a robot woman's fangina cutting off dicks. Wow such quality writing he said sarcastically. Let's just talk about two more shorts then end this review.
Truth or Dare
The story is Donald(Stephen Merchant) & Emily(Halle Berry) don't want to do the typical first date so they play a game of truth or dare. Before I go on here's a list of what they did in their game.
- Grab a man's butt
- Blow out the candles to a blind kids birthday before he gets the chance
- Donlad has to be a male stripper to a bachrlorete party
- Emily has to put one of her tits in guacamole sauce
- Donald has to get a graphic dick tattoo with semen coming out of it on his face
- Emily has to put a turkey baster up her vigina with the hottest sauce in the baster
- Donlad has to listening to Snookie read Moby Dick
- Emily has to get plastic surgery which will make her cheeks very puffy & have unusually large breasts
- Then Donald has to get plastic surgery to look like an Asian man.
Beezel
This segment is about Amy(Elizabeth Banks) being worried her boyfriend Anson's(Josh Duhamel) cat Beezel(who's a cartoon cat) is coming between them. One day Amy sees Beezel mastrubating to a photo of Anson in a swimsuit then Beezel attacks & urinates on her. After that Anson still finds Beezel innocent but Amy threatens to leave so Anson agrees to find him a new home. Later that night the couple have sex while Beezel is in a closet tearfully watching while sodomizing himself with a hairbrush & dry humping a teddy bear(I'm starting to think the writers should have gone to therapy). So it's the day that the cat has to go away but Amy goes outside only to be ran over by a truck driven by Beezel & he attempts to shoot her. Amy chases after him then beats him with a shovel. This is witnessed by Anson and a group of children at a birthday party Beezel acts innocent so Anson sides with the cat then Amy is attacked & murdered by the children because she beaten Beezel up.
Before I give my rating for this movie let me have a couple of final words. This film is so awful I think everybody who worked on the movie hated it. Relativity Media did little to promote it hell by memory I think I only saw one maybe two TV spots for it & all the actors in this film didn't plug it in during any of their interviews. Many actors declined one being George Clooney and Richard Gere wanted out of the project. I think I also saw shows like Inside Edition or Entertainment Tonight report on the negative reception to the movie that's when you know your film is bad when even television wants to broadcast about how horrible your film is. To this day I haven't seen any stations like TBS or Comedy Central put it on their schedules and they showed Meet The Spartans & Disaster Movie. I can't believe this film took four years to make & had a total of twenty writers and this was the best they could come up with.
Movie 43 is the most unfunny movie I've ever saw it's just gross, cruel, none of the comedy works & some shorts are just in there for shock value alone.
My final rating for this movie is Destroy It!
So I hoped you enjoyed this because my next Cinematic Disaster will be a film I hate with a firey passion that film is 1987's Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
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