Cinematic Disasters - Ready to Rumble

Ready to Rumble is 2000 buddy comedy film based on the pro wrestling promotion World Championship Wrestling (or simply WCW). The movie was produced by Outlaw Productions, Bel Air Entertainment, and Tollin/Robbins Productions and distributed by Warner Bros. Ready to Rumble was written by Steven Brill and directed by Brian Robbins.




The story is friends/pro wrestling fans Gordie and Sean have sadly seen their favorite wrestler Jimmy King be defeated. One day they meet their hero and want to help him get back not only the WCW: World Heavyweight Championship but show that he's still the greatest wrestler that ever lived.

My Thoughts on Pro Wrestling



Now I'm going to come right out and say it, I'm not a fan of pro wrestling. In matter of fact before I even watched the movie I did weeks of research just so I can fully understand what this movie is based on. Now does that mean I hate pro wrestling...no. While doing research for this movie I came to the conclusion that pro wrestling is no different from say a staged play. The only true differences being one is more action oriented than the other.







My Thoughts



Our movie starts off horrifying by showing us pictures of bloody wrestlers while classical music plays. Now I know in pro wrestling there is a usage of blood but that's still a scary image. I mean imagine it your movie starts and this is the first thing you see.

Also let me remind you that classical music is playing over pictures like these.

Then Sean gives us a list of name of pro wrestlers which is hilarious because apparently the editor of the movie couldn't be bother to look up what the guys actually look. I mean Sean is listing these guys but as that's going on none of the pictures they show match what Sean is saying.

So after Sean is done with rambling....this happens

Yeah...Gordie (the guy who wants the slushy) just imagines being in a tag team match with his wrestling idol....for no good reason. It just happens. Then after....THAT, Gordie goes to get his friend a refill...by sticking his finger up his butt to trick the clerk into getting a free slushy. These are the types of jokes were gonna get folks.

We later see both Gordie & Sean go to a Monday Nitro event (Nitro being WCW's flagship show) and they see their hero Jimmy King played by Oliver Platt. And I'm not buying Platt as a wrestler for one moment throughout this movie, I mean nothing says if you were to look at this guy you would go "Yup, that's a professional wrestler". Although knowing this movie maybe that was the "joke." Also Platt's character's gimmick is that he is a king. He is absolute royalty and he's also a rapper....yeah during the time he's talking to the crowd he starts rapping. Makes no sense for his gimmick but okay.

We're also introduced to Titus Sinclair. I swear the writers have no idea what they wanted, when we first see him he comes off as Diamond Dallas Page's manager which makes sense but out of nowhere he's calling the shots backstage as if he runs the company. Soooo.... which is he? The movie certainly doesn't know.

So since Sinclair is tired of Jimmy's crap he orders Diamond to actually assault Jimmy thus making the match a real fight. Or at least that's what it's supposed to be but some of the moves Diamond is doing on Jimmy King would require him to also help Diamond make the moves come off as real. This is one of the movie's biggest problems one I'll come back to later so for now let's move on.

Now Gordie and Sean are saddened that their favorite wrestler is gone, however they both decided they to find him and help him get back the world heavyweight title. So they later hitch a ride with some Nuns. During their time together with the Nuns they all start signing "Running with the Devil" by Van Halen. And I'm not gonna lie this actually got a laugh out of me, it might be the one and only funny joke in the entire movie.

After that moment our heroes find Jimmy King, and during their time with him the two of them only NOW discover that pro wrestling isn't real. Note these two are avid wrestling fans! You mean to tell me that during their time as fans they didn't know it wasn't real! This film came out in 2000, the internet was a thing back then so it's not like they couldn't find that information.

Which actually brings me to yet another huge problem with Ready to Rumble, it makes wrestling fans seem like complete morons. Now yes we could make the argument that are idiots in that fanbase but that's for every fandom not just wrestling. Hell I follow a guy on Twitter who's a wrestling fan (I'm not going to give his name incase he wants to be anonymous) and he's not stupid. One of my favorite internet film critcs Cinematic Excrement while I don't agree with everything he says, he's a wrestling fan and he's not an idiot. So way to insult your fans there WCW.

After the guys finally convince Jimmy to return they later sneak into a Monday Nitro show where we see the current world champion DDP trash talk Jimmy King. This would later result in Jimmy attacking Diamond Dallas Page. Because of this attack this would result in Sean, Gordie, and Jimmy challenging Diamond for the heavyweight championship at the next pay-per-view to which Diamond and Sinclair accept. And there is so much wrong with this scene.

1) Why isn't security stopping this? Jimmy was ACTUALLY fired from the company this isn't part of the show.

2) Why would Sinclair accept this challenge? Again Jimmy was legitimately fired, and since Sinclair has some sort of power in WCW he should be telling them to piss off and have security do their job and have them thrown out of the building.

3) This scene showcases the film's biggest flaw, it can't decide if pro wrestling is real or fake. One scene will tell us it's real but the very next scene will tell us it's fake. The writers really should have decided either to keep it grounded in reality or set it in the fantasy world of pro wrestling, cause doing this both at the same time isn't working.

Then we see romance between Gordie and a Nitro girl named Sasha. Which is by far the most unrealistic part of the movie because no hot babe like Sasha would ever fall for someone completely and utterly stupid like Gordie (seriously within the first ten minutes of the movie the character of Gordie gets on your nerves really quick).

Later on we see the guys find a trainer named Sal. Somehow. I say that because these guys have grown up in small town Wyoming, they don't know the New York area and we didn't see them look him up. So how did they find this guy?

Then afterwards it's revealed that Sasha was working with Sinclair the whole time. I bring this up because according to him Sasha "did great". When she really didn't. Other than tricking Gordie and revealing it's Sal who's training them she really didn't get any more information out of him. They whole got Sal's name not where he's locations at. She no Sasha didn't do great she did the bear minimum.

So it's the big night of the pay-per-view and Jimmy and Sean go to Gordie (who's currently studying to be a sheriff because that's what he's father wants him to be), they tell him how "they need him." And when that line was said it left me stretching my head because from the moment they convince Jimmy to return, Gordie hasn't done anything it's been Sean who's been doing all of the work. So yeah they kinda don't need him.

Then we have our big cage match and it's pretty bad finale for a movie. Because first the bad guys break the lock but when team good guys come in to help the lock is now magically back together, when Sean and Gordie are talking Sasha just materializes into the cage. I mean it she comes right out of nowhere and proof she's also in the cage, and of course the movie can't decide if wrestling is real or scripted. So we have not one but two huge movie mistakes and a fight that doesn't know if it's an actual real-life fight or if it's just part of the show.

So that was Ready to Rumble and wow, whether you're a wrestling fan or not this movie is horrible. It's story doesn't know if it wants to tell a fictional wrestling story or a real one, characters are either stupid, bland, or both, the jokes really don't work, and the film just insults your intelligence. Hell like I said prior to the review I'm not a pro wrestling fan and yet I still felt like the movie was insulting me, I don't know if that takes talent or not either but it was pulled off and doesn't make Ready to Rumble look good.

My final rating is Destroy It!

So that's all for me. Come back on Thursday, Jan 30th for a special update regarding my upcoming review for Sonic the Hedgehog. Until then enjoy the rest of your day and please don't watch Ready to Rumble.